the end of a beautiful season.

dear friends, as you know from my last post, our team decided to take some time away from reynosa this last month in order to sort through how to respond to the changes that have taken place in the city due to drug violence. it was a raw, emotional time for us as we discussed the change of life in reynosa and the direction things are headed in the city and how that affects us.

it is with sadness that i must say we have decided to leave reynosa. kelly and zach feel they do not have the grace to continue on in reynosa with baby hazel, which we completely understand and support. adri and i feel like we cannot and should not continue on without kelly and zach. our commitment here is not just to boystown but also to our team. and given the current climate of the city, it isn’t safe for the two of us to continue on our own, especially in boystown. and this climate has given no indications of changing anytime soon. so we feel the end is drawing to a close quickly for this season of our lives.

adri and i will be in reynosa through the end of april. this has given us a month to have some closure here. we just returned from a week-long medical trip with our dear friends at Isaiah 55, where we helped translate as they hosted medical clinics for people living in the state of hidalgo. it was a wonderful time spent seeing more of the country i have grown to love with sweet friends who have become like family to me. and now we have the next two weeks to pack our things and say goodbye to our friends in boystown and the city.

saying goodbye to our friends here is heartbreaking. it has been such a sudden shift and we have invested so much here. but i know, despite the pain of this situation, that the Lord is still in control. his plans are a little different than i had thought. though it hurts, i feel peace in the midst of all this. i have always thought that in order to be at peace with something, you must be joyful. i am now realizing that peace and sadness can walk hand-in-hand, as they are right now.

my plan is to return to tulsa at the end of the month and get my feet back on the ground. i’ll take the time to sort through all that has happened here and figure out what the next step is for me in life.

prayer would be much appreciated as we walk through this time, trying to figure out what’s next for each of us. prayer as we walk through the sadness of leaving our friends and home behind. prayer for our friends who remain in the city: our friends in boystown and also at isaiah 55 as they continue ministry in reynosa, in the midst of these changes.

thank you, friends, for joining me on this journey the last few years. it has been a beautiful season in my life: full of trials and difficulties but blessed by friendships with beautiful people who have forever changed my life. thank you for the prayers and support. thank you for loving my friends here in boystown from afar and for praying for them. you have been a part of their lives as well. so thank you. love to all of you.

changes.

as i'm sure many of you know from watching the news, the border of mexico has been a volatile place as the "war on drugs” has escalated. reynosa has been a relatively quiet city, until now. there were some incidents last year between the cartels and the military. and in the last few months, we have seen a slow increase in the frequency of incidents. despite the increase, we have still been quite able to move around the city, visiting our friends in boystown, and continuing on with normal life without difficulty. we were always aware of our surroundings, and were prepared to act accordingly if something occurred. we have sensed, in the last few months, the shift that has been occurring in the city and we have been aware of its recent escalation in intensity.

but in the last couple of weeks, things in the city have changed. it is getting more violent, as cartels are fighting one another for power. and it is affecting the whole city. it has also impacted our ability to see friends in boystown and to go about our normal lives in the city. it is not something that seems to be easily or quickly resolved.

we have been praying specifically for the situation over the last few months, seeking wisdom and discernment as we have figured out how to live our lives on a daily basis in a city that has been slipping into chaos. and now we are having to figure out what the best decision is for us as a team and as individuals. we all believe God has called us to reynosa and all of our hearts are very much in this city. we have put down roots and truly feel a sense of home here. but now we have to figure out what is next. there are seasons to life. and we are definitely feeling a change of season. we just don't know exactly what that looks like or how to move forward. and so we are taking a bit of a break from life here, in order to pray and think through how we should respond to these changes. it breaks my heart to think of leaving my friends and my home here for a time. but we all need some time away to be able to think through this clearly.

so we would greatly appreciate it if you would keep us in prayer. pray for protection for us and for our friends. pray for the peace of Christ in this city. pray that the body of believers here in reynosa would become united in prayer for the city and for the situation. pray for wisdom for our team as we decide as a group and as individuals how to move forward. pray for kelly and zach, as they are taking care of baby hazel (who was born just a week and a half ago) and trying to figure out what is best for them as a family. pray for the grace to do what Jesus is asking of us. pray that we would hear the voice of God leading us through all of this. his is the voice that we desire to hear most clearly. thank you for your love and support, friends.

home.

i’ve never been one for new year’s resolutions but i’ll admit that this year i have one. and it is to update my blog monthly. i recognize i’m just barely getting in by the skin of my teeth this month, but nonetheless, it’s a start.

i’ve been in reynosa now for 14 months. in some ways, it’s shocking that i’ve been here for over a year, but in reality it feels much more like i’ve lived here for years. reynosa has become my home. there are still aspects of life here that are unfamiliar, as in every culture that is not your own. but what makes this place home to me is the relationships. between kelly, zach, adri, isaiah 55, and my friends from reynosa, i have come to have a family here. and i love them all dearly.

speaking of “home”, many of you have asked how our team housing is coming along in aquiles. and the answer is...it still is not ready. we’re hoping that within the year, zach & kelly’s portion of housing will be finished. but it all depends on finances and work teams. we’re learning to be quite patient and just enjoy where the Lord has us for the time and what he’s doing through us in our current locations.

i’ve been surprised at how life here has carved out a little space for me to practice the pursuits i enjoy most. my good friends adri and brent and i have formed a band. we played a few songs for kelly & zach’s wedding last spring and loved it. so we’ve decided to do it more often. we’ve already played a gig at a great little cafe in reynosa, just a few blocks from our apartment. and we’ve got another gig coming up in mcallen, texas this weekend! i have always loved singing but never figured i’d have the chance to do it down here. it’s been such a blessing to have this creative outlet.

i’ve also discovered a love for baking. i began by simply making birthday cakes and cookies for friends here. and now it’s turned into a weekly event of baking for the cafe down the street where we played our gig. i’m loving being able to practice and enjoy something that i love doing. and i’ve been able to become great friends with the two guys who run the cafe. it’s been so nice to have friendships and a “life” in reynosa outside of boystown. it’s been a healthy balance for me. and i’ve loved every minute of it.

everyday i’m learning more about what “home” really is. it’s not a building. it’s the people around you. it’s your friends. it’s your neighbors. it’s all about the relationships. and here in reynosa, i have found my home.

i'm still here.

many apologies to you all. it has been a few months since my last update, and i’m sorry to have left you all wondering if i had fallen off the face of the planet. life continues to change and evolve with each day here; some days crawl, some days fly by, some days are fantastic, some days are quite hard. but with each day that passes, i am learning so very much and loving my community here.

the reason i haven’t written in awhile is because i have been trying to figure out how to do it. it’s something our team has wrestled with and talked through. we want to share our lives with all of our friends and family back home but it’s difficult seeing as how the bulk of what we do involves other people’s stories. and we don’t feel like we have the right to broadcast others’ stories. we don’t want to do anything to jeopardize our relationships with our friends in boystown or betray the trust that has been built there. so please, bear with us as we figure out how to go about sharing about life here. we’re more than happy to fill you in on our construction progress as we prepare to move into aquiles, and i will do my best to share other aspects of my life with you. if you have any questions about what i do here, please feel free to email me and i’ll be happy to share more with you.

kelly and zach’s portion of team housing is coming along. they’re hoping to move into the house in the next few months, so zach is working hard to get it finished! as soon as they are settled, he’ll get to work on finishing up a portion for adri and i to live in. we’re hoping within the next year, we will also be living out in aquiles. we are so excited to live with our friends and neighbors in the neighborhood.

me in front of team housing

kelly & zach's upstairs with walls finally up!

kelly & zach's downstairs

our summer was pretty busy, as we had construction teams from the states in and out, working on the house. i spent a lot of time with friends in boystown as well. it was a difficult summer, as our team faced challenges inside and outside of boystown. at times, i really struggled with feeling overwhelmed with life here...with the language barrier, with the situations our friends find themselves in, with the season our team is in right now.

but despite all of the difficulties of this summer, i am finding that if for nothing else, i am here to understand how much God loves me. i thought i was coming here to love on my friends in reynosa (and i am here to do that), but the joke is really on me. i believe he has drawn me down to this place to show me how much he loves and cares for me. until we have some sort of understanding of the depth of the father’s love for us, it is difficult to properly love him back or to love our neighbors. in the midst of all the chaos i sometimes feel my life is in at times, God is right by my side, loving me through all of it. and as i begin to really understand that, everything changes.

so i’m still here, learning about love and growing with my friends here. i sometimes fumble through life here, but i grow more confident each day that i am not alone in this. i have a wonderful team and family down here and a God who loves me more than i could ever imagine.

transición...

transition (noun): the process or a period of changing from one state or condition to another.

transition can be a difficult journey.  change isn’t always easy.  it’s hard to leave the comfortable for the unknown.  but transition itself is a process of changing, and generally by the end of that process, the result is beautiful.  the beauty may not be staring you straight in the face but is there.

my life this last year has been full of non-stop transition.  i graduated college a year ago and started this exciting new journey.  i have been in a process of change ever since i graduated.  there have been rough portions of the journey but looking back on it, it’s been beautiful.

this spring has brought about all sorts of exciting new changes.  

kelly & zach had a beautiful wedding in oklahoma, filled with friends from reynosa, south texas, and england.  it was quite the celebration.

the wonderful adri roos moved here from england to join our team full-time (which now puts us at 4 people and provides me with a roommate!).  and we’ve moved into a new apartment here in reynosa.

and just recently adri, myself, and our good friend sarah had the wonderful opportunity to help a good friend from boystown move back home to her family.  she had been in boystown for about 10 years and decided it was time to go home and be with them.

and we got to be there with her in the start of this transition.  her sisters, mother, son, nephews & nieces all welcomed us with incredibly open arms.  they fed us, they found a place for us to stay, they showed us the city, took us to the beach.  they showered us with genuine hospitality.  it was such a precious time, spending those last couple of days with our friend and her son...talking to her about what she was leaving behind, and most importantly, what she was looking forward to; what hopes she has for the future.

as we got ready to leave, my friend told me that she is sad that she won’t see us much anymore but she is very happy to be with her family in tampico.  there is a part of her that comes alive when she is with them.

as we got on the bus to come back to reynosa, all of the conversations i’d had with my friend these last few months were flashing through my mind.  i remember all of the shopping we did together for kelly’s shower (which went really well, by they way!) and how our friendship began to grow.  i remember the tearful conversations about missing her family and wanting to be with her son.  i remember her going to the church downtown one day because she wanted to spend some time in prayer.  i remember her telling me, “i love jesus. i know him and have him in my heart”.  i remember praying with her for peace and for guidance.  i remember the joy in her eyes as she told me she had decided to leave boystown.  

and as i thought back on these things, i realized just what a beautiful process it’s been.  she has stepped out into the unknown and is changing her life.  i know this transition won’t necessarily be an easy one...there will be bumps in the road and at times, i’m sure boystown will try to call her back to its walls.  but my prayer is that she will continue to be changed.  that she will continue forward in this process.  i pray that not only will it be a change in lifestyle but it will be a change of heart.  that she will allow Jesus to work deeply in her.

because transition is a beautiful process.

anything but dull.

yet again, sorry for my inconsistency in updates. i’m working on being better at that : ) things have been quite crazy here since last i updated. i’ve spent a lot of time with my friends in bt and have formed a few new friendships. the time spent with them has been so precious to me. they’ve slowly opened more of themselves up to me and shared stories of their lives. i have felt the Lord working as they have shared tears with me, dreams for leaving bt, sorrows over missing their children back home, and the laughter of things that i understand (and don’t understand) in our conversations.

and lately i have had the joy of helping them plan a bridal shower for kelly. they feel so moved by her kindness and generosity to them over the last few years that they want to give back to her by throwing her shower. aaand it has been an interesting experience. i had to avert a few uncomfortable situations that were being planned for the party. [but the aversion was a success.] then last week while shopping for party supplies downtown with a friend from bt, we came back outside the store to realize my car was gone. gone. i began to feel the panic rising up inside of me, when i happened to see a tow truck down the street driving away with my car, which sent me on a somewhat long, wild, expensive goose hunt (in spanish) to retrieve it.

despite all of that, the shower has allowed me to have an excuse to spend more time with a few of my friends in bt, as we have plotted, planned, and shopped together. and i’ve loved every minute of it (even the crazy times). tuesday is the big night of the shower, here at the house. and i’m sure there will be funny stories galore to come from the evening...

the next few months will prove to be exciting as we have teams here working on our house, good friends coming to visit, adri moving here!, a wedding, and growing friendships in bt. so you could be in prayer for our growing community and all of the big changes coming our way. we’re excited for this next season!

more updates to come [hopefully soon]...

feliz año 2009

it’s been awhile since my last update.  sorry for those of you who have been avidly watching my blog for the latest updates  : )  we’ve not had internet service in mexico until just this week, so that’s made things a little difficult!  there is so much that has happened since my last update and so many changes that are taking place, but i’ll try to compact it all as much as possible!

in november, i took part in one of my best friend’s weddings, which was just beautiful.  it was well worth delaying my departure to mexico by a few weeks!  within the week following the wedding, i had packed all my things in my car and driven down to the border!  i settled into reynosa quite smoothly and easily fell into the flow of life here.

i spent thanksgiving day with friends of ours from isaiah 55, a deaf ministry in reynosa (which also handles construction projects and is building the team housing for us).  we had a great time eating, napping, watching movies, and eating again.  it was nice to feel like i was with family even away from home.  and then i was blessed enough to have the opportunity to go home to tulsa for the holidays.  i had a fabulous time with family and friends before heading back to reynosa for the new year!

since being in reynosa, it has been wonderful picking up where i left off in some of my friendships.  it’s quite nice being able to speak more spanish with my friends in boystown, share food together, and sit and laugh with them.  i’ve loved getting to see new faces, and with it, the hope of making new friends.  we’ve spent some time out on the land as well, and i have adored playing with the kids that live around our new house.  i’m excited for the possibilities of teaching some of them to read, as well as some english and other helpful skills.

with estefani, a future little neighbor

we’ve also hosted a couple of different teams in the last couple of months.  one team put trusses on the building and worked on the property.   i couldn’t believe how different the land looked when i saw it for the first time in a year!  it’s on its way to being our home!  and one team came in and just prayed and hung out with us for a few days.  it was fantastic having them here and just listening to what the Lord has for us this year!  i’m so excited for 2009.  there are going to be many changes in our community as it grows and we all take on different roles together as a body.  and (fingers crossed) we’ll be moving out to the land sometime this year.  i’m so excited to see all that is in store for this year and all of the friendships that will be made and deepened with our neighbors in aquiles and in boystown.

here are a few pictures to show you how far construction has come...

the land a year and a half ago

taken from in front señor corona’s house

clearing the land a year and a half ago

the front of the building